Always saying that the older you get, the more hateful you become towards everyone? It’s as real as it gets.
Based on a true story:
I do not have friends as I used to anymore but I’m very close with my family. Several of my cousins and my siblings are currently the best friends I have. Beside them I really don’t like others; I don’t want to have anything with others.
I really had a lot of friends, I was socially active. I was making friends easily and was able to find close relationships anywhere with anyone. I never shied. I thought that I had a blessing for having so many friends.
I trusted several of my closest friends and would confide about my darkest secrets. I felt as if they knew me on the inside and the outside, they could see throughout me. We made plans to be there at eachothers’ weddings, have kids approximately the same time, and raise them together.
I was positive that all of them will be part of my life for all times. They were closer to me than my relatives; I even liked them more than I did real relatives.
As time passed, and years had passed, everything changed. Friends disappeared and all those I trusted were gone. The friendships had ended.
I want to point out that I don’t want to put the blame on others from me not having friends. I myself played the central role in the deterioration of these friendships. Initially I felt terribly about this as it didn’t feel good to lose all those friends.
I felt as if I was putting 90% and receive 10%. My efforts were not reciprocated. The moment I stopped giving everything I am into those friendships, they started deteriorating.
This was topped by many other things going wrong, and me doing things I shouldn’t have done. My friends did stupid things as well and we did not come to terms about it. None of us wanted to put an effort and fix it, everyone turned their backs.
It may sound depressing, but people always leave you, and I believe most of you already know this and can relate.
I came to the realization that it is harder to make friends as you get older, because as years go by you conclude that you’ve become more hateful.
The strange thing here is that this is OK. Why?
Because as you get older you are less willing to tolerate nonsense
When young, you want to make friends with everyone you meet. You care what people think of you. You make stupid, embarrassing, destructive things to make someone like you. You are just desperate to become part of “the gang”.
This is why we are prone to toxic relationships. We have no means to grasp the signs that appear to us, nor the willingness to see when someone is walking all over us.
The older you get, the less willing you are to put up with that. If my friends don’t want to put efforts for a healthy friendship, I don’t need them. I have no time for shenanigans. If this means that I will lose my friends and won’t make new ones – fine, I don’t give a damn.
I will better spend time alone, than allow someone to make me feel that way.
Because as you get older you care less about making new friendships
Making new friends is not a priority for me anymore. I know how people can be and I don’t want to go there anymore. I think I’m through with it.
Don’t get me wrong, I am friendly, chit-chatting with people. I still want to mingle, but won’t confide to them anymore. I won’t be exposed again.
I don’t really have the need to make best friends. I’ve got my family and I am fine. It may sound sad, but I feel good, indeed.
At certain age you realize that making friends is something that you are not into anymore, because you’ve seen everything and know how everything functions.
Because as you get older you trust less people you know
I learned one thing during my time here, people are bad. While a kid, you profoundly trust that people genuinely care for you and trust them heart and soul.
Later you see the truth: People are interested in themselves only and no one cares for you.
I was astonished to see my close friends turn their backs on me with such an ease. This truly opened my eyes. The positive thing is that I had no trouble walking away on them after this took place.
I became stronger. You have to be thick-skinned to survive among these creatures.
Because as you get older you are the most important person you’ve got.
Things started changing for the better for me when I stopped caring and put myself first. There’s a switch you need to turn on middle way between early adult life and real adult life.
Starting to please you first and not pleasing others. Loads of friendships won’t survive this. Putting a price on yourself and respecting yourself, makes people lose interest in you.
As you grow older you stop searching for that friend that will be there till the end. On the contrary you start working on yourself.
Friends will never be there, YOU will always be there for yourself. That’s the real thing you need in life, don’t ever doubt it.